Baggy - maybe its just me, but what does this mean exactly?:
"We also had a nice discussion regarding sexual polarity, and taking stock of where we are as a couple in moving towards that polarity. Despite still seeming to be very uncomfortable with doing so, my wife admitting feeling some -tendrils- of desire toward exploring her femininity in that manner."
Sorry about that. Increasing sexual polarity within the marriage essentially means that with regard to a couple's sexual and romantic relationship, the man moves in a more masculine direction and the woman moves in a more feminine direction --> and in so doing they each make themselves more sexaully attractive to their mate and their sex life improves.
From the woman's perspective, it looks like this:
A Woman tends to marry a guy who is kind, loving, and caring, who is a good provider and father to her children, but she often has a difficult time turning-on to him sexually as is....he has to ALSO be a sexually ruthless 'pirate' in bed, a real 'man' who will sexually objectify her, take her, and display animal passion for her.
Hence all of the work I have been doing since last May to liberate and explore the masculine, dominate side of my nature and carry it into the bedroom with us -- to both of our delights. I'll also add that there are far too many men out there who don't understand the above, and too many woman who are afraid to tell their men about it.
From the man's perspective, it looks like this:
A man tends to marry a woman who will be a kind, responsible, nurturing woman and mother to his children, but he often has a difficult time turning-on to her sexually in her mom jeans, Birks, and a low-maintenance haircut/ponytail....she has to ALSO be a lubricious, shameless vixen in bed, eager to display (sexually objectify) herself in slutty lingerie and stilletous in order to entice the interests of her man.
The above, "man's perspective" is more commonly 'accepted' by society and catered to in popular culture, and it is one that my wife has a difficult time with. As I've discussed before, she isn't comfortable with the notion of 'displaying herself' or sexually objectifying herself for my benefit or to entice the "chase." So thus far, we generally only been working on one side of that 'sexual polarity' equation (mine). However, with this last appointment, my wife is starting to show some hints / desire to move in the feminine direction on her side of 'scale.'
You go girl!
-- B.
Me 50, W 45, M for 26 yrs S25, D23, S13, S10 20+ year SSM; recovery began Oct 2007
