Thank you nc.. actually we went out to dinner and I got four different cards from him. One apologizing telling me that what he is feeling has nothing to do with me and that he was sorry.
I don't get it.
I can only sum up that its due to finicial stress and that he feels that he has let me down in some way, which I have just told him the opposite.
Thanks again
me: 37 H: 44 Married for 18 years this june S7 S3 porn issues, and much more... since 7/06
Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.
I really hope your H is continuing to work through these "feelings" he says has nothing to do with you. They may not, but they obviously do affect you all the same. Stress from finances or other "environmental" external factors are notorious for wrecking havoc on a R. We men tend to get too wrapped up in our careers and our ability to be the family provider, to the point that the worry will drive us to an early grave if we let it. It's a huge burden -- especially in these very difficult economic times.
And unfortunately, that same stress can lead to a deterioration in the marital R as well, if we don't watch it. I know this effect very well, very personally.
I hope that your H will do what it takes to help himself in this, for all your sakes. I would suggest that if the matter is too great that he consider seeking some IC, both financial/career C as well as emotional/spiritual C. We all need help at certain points in our lives. And I was just as stubborn as your H likely is in rejecting the idea I might need such help, but I now realize how very wrong I was in that stance. Sometimes just talking to to someone who will listen impartially and patiently to us is all we need to recognize the course correction our lives might require.
At the same time, don't forget to take care of mommy. Okay?
nc~ my friend.. if only your hindsight could smack him in the head for me...
Really, I do understand that part of him. BUT like you said, it doesn't do him or I any good when he acts like this.
Things are ok at the moment. He has been working, so hopefully this is a sign that things will get better for us finacially.
On a happier note, Had my conference with S6's teacher and it was all good..YAY!! He will be going into first grade, and I couldn't be more proud of him and how hard he has worked... My mom watched the kids for me so I could go to the conference, and my devilish child S3 locked them out of the house and the stove was on to boot!!
My mother freaked out, but was able to get back in the house through the window.. Im telling you my boys are like night and day... S3 is such a little trouble maker...put shaving cream on the cat last week!!
Anyways, I do appreciate your concern nc.. Im ok, hanging in, the boys take up so much of my time, there is really no time for anything else.
me: 37 H: 44 Married for 18 years this june S7 S3 porn issues, and much more... since 7/06
Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.
S3 is such a little trouble maker...put shaving cream on the cat last week!!
OMG LOL!!!!
That is my night and day children. D7 is the rule follower, the broccoli eater. D4 is the flip off the couch, sneak Easter candy while hiding in the pantry sort of gal...that's just how she rolls..... She is trouble!
That's just like my two. S4 has always had a penchant for trouble. The second he learned to walk he became our trouble-maker. I used to call him my "little monkey" because those hands of his were always getting into something, grabbing things off a counter top in a flash.
The difference in our case is that although S8 seems more the rule-follower, he too has his cantankerous streak. For a long time, he has been a regular instigator for trouble himself, all too often. He will constantly get his little brother into trouble and enjoy every minute of it. But as time has gone on S4 has learned very well about S8's ways, and has learned how to retaliate. S8 is starting to realize that his little brother is actually getting to be far better at dishing it out than he -- so S8 had better watch out! S4 has been conditioned too well! LOL.
She is trouble!