2009 - The Craziness Continues (Deux)

[whatdidido]

You are really a super strong man, lis. I'm not sure I could stand this standstill this long. Do you believe she is still with the OM at this point?

[lost_in_space]

(((Kat))) and (((wdid)))

Thanks for stopping. OM is still married. Can't say for certain if they (W and OM) are still together. Hard to do now that w has job.

Saw an e-mail tonite that W sent to a long time mail friend of hers saying we had S and she is happier than she has ever been and does not regret her decision. Stung for a second but really no lingering emotional pain from it. Also saw that W has a new home phone number. That part baffles me. Obv W has more $$ than she has let on - maybe she should pay me spousal support!!!!

Take care.

[whatdidido]

W seems to still be on the justification path. She also has shown that she is going to fight you tooth and nail for all that she can get. Thank goodness you secured a good lawyer early on to protect yourself. Reality isn't going to hit her, I'm afraid, until it is all said and done. I hope I'm wrong. If only she had a sensible friend that could talk to her. Has she been kind to you in any way since this all started? I ask because if she has, that would have been the time she had some second thoughts.

[lost_in_space]

wdid,
No, not kind really at all. So haven't seen that part.

I am tiring of this rapidly...

[lost_in_space]

I am going to HJ my own thread - well at least the topic - a bit. Let's call this "How to Deal with Brainwashing".

The general theme around is to be there for your kids, encourage them to talk about feelings and to ask questions but don't bad mouth the other parent.KEEP K'S OUT OF THE MIDDLE!! With that premise, how does one deal with brainwashing.

Will use my sitch as example I have heard that my D16 talks a great deal about her mom's partying / having a good time / how much she does for D16. I have also heard from the k's in the past and more recently from MIL and FlL about how I am making life hard for W, treating her bad. I'll's even said the k's will resent me in future when they see this. None of this is true (about my treatment).

In thinking about this and talking to close friends about it, all we can conclude is that W is filling heads of anyone who will listen with lies / half truths / false accusations. D16 in particular seems to be getting stories upon stories. Have heard from parents of D16's friends that the friends are worried and upset that D16 believes what she does (yes, these friends know all).

So how do you deal with this without calling other parent a liar? Approaches?

I think a convo where k's can express what they understand to be going on would be a start. But by doing this are they not being drawn in the middle?

All comments welcome. The phone lines are now open...

[whatdidido]

A counselor with ALL present. Family counselor. Get one fast.

[kat727]

Maybe something as simple as explaing what is going on, how you are trying to work things out if possible and that you are willing to answer any questions that they have to the best of your ability.

You know my ex always tries to say how he is raising them to do this and that. I have seen the boys just look at each other and mouth "right". They know who is doing what and who they count on. Don't let that fool you for a heartbeat. Really I say face it head on.

hugs, kat

[Puppy Dog Tails]

I'm with WDID. Parental alienation is no laughing matter, and should be taken very seriously.

I also prayed every day that my kids would see the truth, so I wouldn't have to go around tellin' it.

Puppy

[lost_in_space]

Thanks for the comments on brainwashing. C is a must - just nee W to agree. Welcome anymore comments on that.

I have to admit that I was sketchy on what narcisstic peronality disorder was but after reading about it here over and over I did some research. I WAS FLOORED by what I read - I could have written some of that stuff. I sent some of the traits to folks I know and asked them if they knew someone who displayed the traits / behaviors and every one identified W. So I can add NPD to the mix (not clinically identified but way too much a coiincidence if nothing else).

Anybody watch Grey's Anatomy? A couple seasons ago Addison was referred to as the "Adulterous Bit*h". Interesting that W is starting to be called this. Sad, but interesting.

Have a good rest of Thursday!

[Puppy Dog Tails]

Anybody watch Grey's Anatomy? A couple seasons ago Addison was referred to as the "Adulterous Bit*h". Interesting that W is starting to be called this. Sad, but interesting.

Her mother must be so proud.