The Bumpy Road to Recovery #3

[Bagheera]

Journaling;

The visit with the couple's counselor / sex therapist this week went very well. Some hightlights:

We had an interesting discussion regarding the Riso-Hudson Enneagrams for my wife and myself, which I had shared with her (and with you folks here) earlier in the week, with particular regard to our respective childhoods and their effects on us. In a nutshell, what each of us has to do for each other is to give our partner the thing that we each subconsciously yearn for the most: in my case, acceptance; and in her case, security. What each of us has to also do for ourselves is to recognize and work to reduce the influence of the basic 'fear' in our lives: in my case, fear of rejection; and her her case, fear of abandonment. My case is one that we've talked about at length, but this was one of the first instances of a more symmetrical his-hers discussion.

We also had a nice discussion regarding sexual polarity, and taking stock of where we are as a couple in moving towards that polarity. Despite still seeming to be very uncomfortable with doing so, my wife admitting feeling some -tendrils- of desire toward exploring her femininity in that manner. After the therapist handed me my jaw back (which had fallen to the floor), we set about discussing the environment needed for her to begin doing just that, which not surprisingly, amounts to reestablishing the little plateau that we enjoyed in Jan-Feb, and which we have set the stage for regaining over the last couple of weeks. I'm very proud of my girl for volunteering to push herself out of her "comfort zone" --> now to do my part and provide her with the secure, stable platform from which to dive (mixed metaphor, notwithstanding).

-- Bagheera