So, I saw my H last night. He seemed so different than the last time - friendly, but very together emotionally. Talked about wanting to move back to the city (we live about an hour north), spoke like he had his whole life in check. Meanwhile, he's still living in a room in a friends house on a child sized bed and can barely afford the rent. The night was OK - we talked business and then watched a bit of TV. Unfortunately, I got a bit tipsy on wine and for the first time, acted somewhat desperate when he left. I wanted him to kiss me and he said "that would confuse things". He seemed kind of amused and I finally let it go. When he left, he said that my therapist wouldn't want to hear that I was making out with my husband! Anyway, he left something in the house and came back in. When he walked in, he slapped my ass and then as he was leaving, he quickly grabbed one of my breasts!!! Talk about mixed messages. My head is spinning and I feel ashamed for having acted like a desperado - I have managed to be completely dignified throughout this whole ordeal, so I'm upset with myself. Anyway, my gut is telling me that he's really having his cake and eating it too. I think I need to have very little contact for awhile. Any opinions? I'm really feeling down today.
