Ugh... It sounds like a stand-off. Each of you is wishing the other would "choose" you and come forward. Wouldn't it be nice if he came riding in on that white horse, passionately fighting for you, sweeping you up and carrying you away to his castle?
Forget what he wants. That's for him to figure out. Don't even look at what he's doing over there. Just keep your head down and decide what you want, all by yourself. Imagine your little slice of heaven and write it down! Then look at your H, trying to see beyond your bias, and place him in your little heaven to see if it can work.
Since both of you have been unhappy for a long time, you basically have to start from the beginning to see if this R is going to lead back to love. Perhaps (monogamous) dating and courtship, as if you've just met?
