Sandi's in Piecing and it's getting better

[MrBond]

Hi Sandi,

I'm so glad to hear you're doing fine. Sometimes you just don't know what happens to some of the people when they don't post after awhile.

I'm actually doing pretty well. I think when last I posted, my W had come home in Dec. and things have been up and down since.

The latest is that a couple of weeks ago we got into a R talk (I brought it up) and I confronted her with some of the things she did to me during her EA and some of the things that she had me do for the OM which I didn't realize was the A person at the time. She told me she didn't realize she had done all of that.

I pretty much sat and told her everything I thought was going on inside of her since she has never talked to me yet about her emotions. I told her about how she has been acting out of fear and that she was the one who acknowledged she needed a C but never went, etc. Well afterwards she thanked me for the talk.

She told me that she "wanted to love me" but felt no attraction so didn't want to spend time with me. I told her that was the problem. That we didn't spend QT together after we had our two kids and that's how she got into the EA with her boss in the first place. I also told her how she pretty much gave all of the attraction points to him while taking them away from me during her EA. And again she thanked me for the talk.

I guess what's been bugging me is that she has never apologized for anything she's done. And gets defensive when I had brought it up before. She doesn't any more. In fact, we actually stayed up and watched tv alone together which was the first time we had done that in over a year. We even had lunch together alone which was the most awkward lunch I've ever been on. It's like throwing two people who don't like each other together. It was polite and cordial though and I told myself we had to start somewhere.

So I guess I was wondering from your POV. When you had your EA, did you admit it to your H and apologize? My W still works with her EA since he's her boss. I don't think anything is going on but she won't move positions to be away from him.

What do you think?