So talked to my DB coach today for a counseling session, she is awesome very down to earth very easy to talk to,very funny, and good at reading the most minute of things that my W has said or done. She is very helpful I am pretty sure that the very little progress that i have made so far, i would be nowhere near where i am now without her help or guidance. Her name is Sheryl for those considering.
Anyway so like i said up there after 5 days of darkness the W called and wanted to talk, we talked and I told her that i would bring her dogs to her mothers for a visit and bring some of her personal items that she wanted to "move out" of the house this weekend. Instead of her driving 400 miles and then turning around and driving 400miles back...I know yes this is ole mr. niceguy creeping back, but I have made all my progress so far by going dark and by 180'ing. And for me the ULTIMATE 180 is for me to volunteer to help move the W's [censored] out. She called today to verify that if it wasnt that much trouble and I just replied to her that it was no trouble at all that all her stuff needed to get moved out eventually, since she didnt want to live here anylonger.
Of course we all know that I am really a big teddy bear and deep down inside I am begging and pleading that she will come home but right now this is all Ive got....K Lets see begging and pleading got me nowhere...only made her very aggressive and hateful toward me...but following my coaches advice and the awesome people who have posted replys to my post's advice ive gone dark and acted asif threw in a few 180's, and so far managed to take back a little control in this catastrophe.
She has contacted me the last 3 times we made contact and i am working so hard to not break down in front of her and just act as if it is no biggy im movin on......but in reality it suks.
One more thing I really need to stop feeling sorry for myself about all this i made alot of mistakes. I could have picked up more and did the dishes more and hell i coulda fixed cars for 13-14hrs a day then come home and started my own maid service, but i didnt...but another thing i didnt do all 13 yrs we were together was call her names never no whores, no bitches, no sluts, none of that i just dont believe in it. I never hit her all the countless times she hit me I laughed at her and told her that the only reason she does that is because she knows i wont hit her back. I never even considered another woman I looked, hell she would even point em out to me. I never once told her she had to get a job in the past 10 years that she has been in school, I did what every other man who loves there woman with all there heart does when times were hard I worked harder,I never gave up hope, in her at all but it seems like she gave up hope in me. It seems like she has never acknowledged any of that that she focuses on all the negative stuff i have done all the time like i cant make her happy no matter how hard i try.
