Accelerated divorce due to OM...normal?

[sweet-1]

Was at daughter's riding lessons tonight. W was chatty and playful. called me aside to talk about the D. "I implore you to go collaborative. If we go to court the only ones who'll benefit are the lawyers. just think of what it'll do to those kids" I held back my true feelings and only validated her. then I mentioned that her actions haven't been trust worthy enough for collaborative. She confirmed OM is back in BC with wife (not sure I totally believe her though). She tried the crocodile tears, I simply offered her a kleenx then walked away. she still swears they're just best friends.

Almost every topic went back to money, I kept steering it back to the kids and her feelings. Now she says this isn't about a divorce only arranging a parenting plan, and debt reduction and we'll file for divorce later. I agreed with her that idea is worth listening to, and then asked that we do a 4-way sit down with lawyers or a counsellor (I like the one with DB in her office personally). She didn't agree but rather weakly disagreed. She said she hopes I find happyness in my life, but it won't be with her. I said for me I feel we can still make our marriage into something wonderful and she has no right to tell me how I should feel. She didn't like that, I simply responded I will not be a doormat.

We talked back and forth for a few more minutes, before i told her I ahven't decided one way or the other collaborative or court, and I was waiting to see her financial disclosure, she grimaced and then changed the subject. I said thaank you for the talk and walked away back to watch the lesson. She was shaken but recovered quickly.