Well can we say I totally screwed up? Husband sent an email after I haven't talked to him, heard from, or seen him since Wednesday. It's been hard. Email said that he was done with the key to the storage and just remembered he needed his passport and visa which were in the lock box. He wanted me to either bring them to him or put them somewhere safe so he could pick them up. I went all into a tizzy believing that this meant he was heading back home to Canada. I called my sister on my drive to the gym to give him what he asked for. I should have waited and breathed. He wasn't there and I panicked even more. I called his dad. I know HUGE MISTAKE! His dad and mom really do not know themselves what is going on. My H told them that we love each other but just don't get along. He had talked to his dad a couple of months earlier telling him that being a dad was harder than he thought. His dad told his mom to talk to him and have him call either me or him. He said he needs to let me know exactly what is going on and not to be beating around the bush. I see nothing but bad things coming from this. I know I need to realize that my marriage is over and work on me. I just need to drop the rope and take care of me. This nauseated feeling I get when I don't know what is going on is too much. I think I would be better to just accept that it's over.
"It is excruciating pain. It is the pain of separation, the pain of loss, the pain of dreams and expectations unrealized. It is the loss and death of a mirage."
