You are so very correct as it may be the best and only way that either of our ladies can cope w/their issues. These type of things are filled w/coulda, woulda, and shoulda, but reality is we can't, so there is no reason to dwell on it.
Human nature keeps us wondering and there will be disappointment if she now decides to work on her inner demons, but ultimately, I wish for her to discover why she's so unhappy for herself so she can let herself free.
I'll be gone, but at least she'll be free and an XW that is free of her inner issues will be a much better mother to our D.
