Ok I used carnations, as they are best apparently... and I cut the stems on an angle and in half and left it for HOURS.. still white. ARGHH !

Anyway... so he phoned.

.. it was a bit odd. I said before he had almost left it too late, but had left it too late to contact me, that some damage had in fact been done. Before, we always got on so well, no awkwardness.. but some has crept in after he didnt even phone me for 3 months, or see me for 4 and was with her, obviously.

So.. we chatted for an hour and 10, which was nice and we laighed here and there, but there was the odd little brief silence. We agreed on most things and of course I 'get it' when he makes a remark about someone and then I fill in, finish off the joke, or what they are like, things that only couples discuss, if you see what I mean, so THAT closeness is still tehre.. but, sometimes there were awkward pauses for a moment and I'm racking my brain to think, what do I say? He ended up telling me a blow by blow account of his week, which was good that he wanted to..and it also mainly involved being with his Mum, which is good, but he didnt really ask me how I was !! He did ask after my Dad though, which I think is possibly the first, or only second time he has, which is huge (at the bomb, he said one of the hardest things was that in weighing up leaving me he had to get his head around that meant he was also losing my Dad!! Then he cried! Over my Dad! Not me...)

Then at the end, he said he would give me a ring sometime.. I said I have his post so he said he would get that off me sometime.. then I said, ok, well do you want to go for a drink sometime? and then he said.. sure, I'll give you a bell soon.. but then he said.. I was thinking of going to band night this week... oh were you? .. and then something about maybe I might be, or we could maybe meet then, but that he would give me a 'buzz' again (phone) anyway... and he sounded so...'casual', faux-nonchalant...distant?

OH FOR F*%^£S SAKE JUST SAY IT.. WOULD YOU LIKE TO GO OUT FOR A DRINK NOW THAT I AM NO LONGER WITH HELEN AND I MADE A MISTAKE IN DUMPING YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE.. etc etc, lol.

Well, I assume he is no longer with her, as he phoned me after footy (although he could have seen her last night and Sunday night) but also, invited me to bandnight this week (in a backhand super casual, nonchalant, not bothered if you do or dont kinda way). So.. Operation Bandnight is now officially... happening !

And before anyone complains about the way he is going about this (Neaj, I mean you, ha!).. I hear that this is how it goes, until they finally say they want back.. its still this wierd cha-cha right? A dance? Isnt that it? They take awkward steps toward you and then.. what, I'm supposed to back away a bit !!?? I dont know.