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vickyd Offline OP
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Yea, what we ENABLE! I am guilty of being an enabler.

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I'm really proud of you taking a stand. You'll be happy no matter which way things go by standing up for yourself. \:\)


"You can't reason someone out of a position they didn't reason themselves into."
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vickyd Offline OP
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You guys, all the encouragement gives me strength. Thanks for reminding me that I'm doing the right thing. I need to hear that as often as possible. You all are the best!!!

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vickyd Offline OP
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OK I'm coming here first... thinking about calling H to just say hello to see how he's doing. I haven't spoken to him since the Sat. night. Should I or don't? It's no contact whatsoever or just "distant" contact? \:\) Help me out here please.

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Don't. If there's some legitimate REASON to call, that would be one thing, but just to chat would be considered "pursuing," I would think.

Puppy

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Right. How about calling a family member instead? Someone that always makes you feel good after talking to them and also is supportive of you? My mom always made me feel good and kept me straight as well.

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vickyd Offline OP
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Ok. I haven't called so far. And no I have no legitimate reason to call him.

I will listen to you guys. I don't want to backslide from all the work I've done. But it gets so tempting. I won't lie... I miss him today. But part of me know that I shouldn't. I will regret it if I do. I know it, I just gotta let the feeling pass.

By the way, don't you guys get lonely. I gotta say some nights I have been really lonely at home. I watch TV and talk on the phone and try to get in late, but I do feel lonely at times. I know part of this is that this is the first time I have been not in a relationship/without H since sixteen so I guess its all new to me. I've been surviving but it gets lonely at times for sure.

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vickyd Offline OP
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I gotta remember, WE TEACH PEOPLE HOW TO TREAT US. What message would I be sending/what lesson would I be teaching if I let him treat me badly and I still want to engage with him.

FYI, this post is really to convince myself more so than anyone else reading it. \:\)

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Let him miss you as much as you miss him. When he stops using you, and instead cherishes you, you will know it.

I'm sure it does get lonely. That's what GAL is all about. FInd something that fills you up spiritually, emotionally, intellectually, or physically. You'll feel a lot better. The thing I learned the most was that happiness comes from within. Only YOU can make yourself happy, not some other person.

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vickyd Offline OP
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Yea, so true that we are responsible for making ourselves happy. I've been reading "The Art of Happiness" and that is the basic premise.

You're so right, I will let him miss me. I know he does too!! He shows it. Although, I do have to remember he does have others occupy his time. But gotta focus on me anyway, right?!!

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