I too hope he "gets it" or gets SOMETHING soon. By sticking to your guns of not settling, you have made a better you. I do hope he's learning to accept the fact that the old wasn't good enough.
I'm pleased by him paying attention again and do hope it will continue to evolve for him and for you. Also, good job at telling him to continue talking and to not clam up. I also agree that you do have the right to judge his actions - or non-actions as a husband - and not him. Well done for spelling this out to him and keeping it about his actions and not about him as a person.
