You're such a class act. One of the few solid reasons we didn't re-file for D was because staying married, even if we lived across town from each other, took away so many things that would be harmful to our own teen son who was already having a hard time because of us. I'm glad the two of you can live together and that your hard work (and it is miserably hard sometimes isn't it?) is paying off for you.
I hope you don't mind if I "repost" the post I'm replying to. I just think it's one of the best around. Crams all kinds of things into a suscint paragraph. Wish I could do that .
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Nik, I think first of all it was that my H still cared for me. He was battling within himself with wanting to be done, and still being pulled in my direction, even with all I put him through. I was a royal bitch to him at times. So when I started DB'ing, and 'acting as if' and being positive and upbeat (hard to do when you are dying inside) he was really torn, and even told me he felt guilty because I was being nice to him. I had had it with the 'old me'. I never knew how miserable I was with myself until bomb. There was something that I think helped US, some don't agree with it but we did a trial separation. I left the house to give us both space because the ups and downs of his MLC were getting to me too. I was gone for two weeks and he called me and asked me to come home. Not to get back together with me mind you, but to "get me back in my own house and back with our teenage sons". Such pride. He missed me, it was as plain as that.
I do things with him now that I didn't do before, he likes to hike and bike ride, I used to tell him to just go ahead and go. That was a mistake too. Now I go and enjoy it very much.
I don't know if I've answered your questions or not. Lisa
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