Hey Blueheart. I am pretty sure I am in a fairly similar sitch. I haven't confirmed the presence of the OW, but I am the only one with any doubt. Regardless of that I have a similar sitch in that my spouse wants to be buddies. For me, I have been working to take control of the situation. More than anything I want her to know that I am doing fine and that I am going to be fine. If she wants to chat, that is fine by me. But it will not control me. It's a part of my day. In other words, I would say it is ok to talk. you aren't validating his behavior, just acknowledging the reality that you two have a relationship. As long as he is respectful and you are in control I would say it is all good.
