You're right...usually the WAS doesn't have the willingness to save them. But it doesn't make sense to argue that they could have been saved, but weren't, therefore the system works. The proof is in the pudding. Do you suppose that 80% COULD HAVE been saved, but only 1% of the people were willing to wait in limbo for 15 years to find out? Or do you suppose that for every one of us here failing to restore their marriage, there are 10 that aren't on this board that are saving theirs thanks to DB?
You cannot be lonely if you like the person you're alone with. Dr. Wayne Dyer
You're right...usually the WAS doesn't have the willingness to save them. But it doesn't make sense to argue that they could have been saved, but weren't, therefore the system works. The proof is in the pudding. Do you suppose that 80% COULD HAVE been saved, but only 1% of the people were willing to wait in limbo for 15 years to find out? Or do you suppose that for every one of us here failing to restore their marriage, there are 10 that aren't on this board that are saving theirs thanks to DB?
Eh, it is like saying my computer could have been fixed when it got struck by lightning last year. But it was cheaper and more convenient for me to simply move onto a new computer.
So I'm a Walk Away Computer User...
There are marriages that have problems, but ultimately there are a lot of people in those marriages who don't want to do what it takes for those relationships to work.
"You can't reason someone out of a position they didn't reason themselves into."
Eh, it is like saying my computer could have been fixed when it got struck by lightning last year. But it was cheaper and more convenient for me to simply move onto a new computer.
for the life of me I cannot see the logic in this, since when did a computer have feelings or emotions or the ability to think for it's self on an emotional level?
I also very much doubt that a computer struck by lightning could have been fixed either,it would have been fried!
Anyway, I'm for doing all that you can to save the marriage. To not try because a large percentage doesn't make it, doesn't make sense to me. I don't think that is what you were saying, though. Everyone has their own story, their own circumstances, their own method of "trying", and their own breaking point. Only they know what it is.
Hi PDT, sorry I haven't stopped by sooner, but I haven't been on the boards lately. I sensed something wasn't right with you at the time I had been on the boards.
I was so sorry to see your first post, my heart sank when I read it.
I do appreciate all the advice you've given me.
I don't have a lot of good advice, other than to hand it over to God, He will give you peace.
You and your family will be in my prayers.
Hang in there!
M:36 H:36 M 3 Y T 8 Y No kids Bomb 6/30/08 PA I filed 9/29/09 D final 1/22/2010
I think most people just don't want to save their marriages. So few people have the conviction that marriage is a life long commitment. Does anyone remember their vows? For better or worse, right? I mean, so many people just walk away the moment things get tough. What sort of message as a society are we sending our kids? This is all very tragic to me. I know that we have all been hurt very badly, but the pain can be overcome. I look at the cross and remember that He hurt to the point of death for me when I didn't even love Him. He did this as an example for me to follow. He's my motivation. I know that many people don't agree with bringing Christianity into this, but I firmly believe it's at the heart of it. If more people looked closely at the cross, they would have a totally different perspective on life. That the creator of the universe would humble himself to the point of a humiliating and excruciating death on the cross for the sake of you and I is a profound and beautiful thing. That He did this as an example for us to follow is an honor. "Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an antoning sacrifice for our sins." I John 4:7-10 None of us are perfect, I realize that, but love can overcome all things, so don't give up on it, even when the other person has.
