I figure the last one should lock soon, so I'm starting this one.
First a short synopsis: Me: 27 W: 22 S7,S8 (I have full custody from prior marriage) D1 (From this marriage)
Married: 07/2006 Baby Born: 05/2008 FIL Died: 09/2008 BOMB: 12/29/2008 (suspect OM) S: 01/06/2009 (W moved to MIL) D-Filed: 01/23/2009 (Accusing me of mental/physical cruelty) Served: 02/02/2009 Retained Atty: 02/04/2009 Retained P.I.: 02/05/2009 Confirmed OM: 02/06/2009 Answer on Grounds of Adultery: 02/09/2009
Since then some have been aware of me going into WAR mode. I'm very reactive to legal situations, and very proactive in taking the fight to whomever brought it.
I made the decision to begin moving on and focusing on the D in late March 2009. But there is still a part of me that is finding it difficult to let go in terms of a potential future.
That being said - the A is exposed but ongoing. W has shown guilt somewhat, but I have not been approached with remorse, an apology, or even a desire to discuss the situation.
Right now I'm just getting D1 on Saturdays and moving forward. I uncovered a boatload of prior evidence of W's mental history in March 2009, and have requested a Psychological Evaluation to determine custody based on a possible (likely) breakdown in her mental state since the birth of D1 and death of her father.
I am being careful not to take any actions or reactions out of anger. I am focused on doing right by D1, and my priority list is as follows:
1. D1 2. W getting help 3. M
W has not bothered approaching me, but before I'm even willing to stop the D, my required (basic) conditions are thus:
1. Total honesty/transparency/no contact 2. Counseling/etc. 3. Mental evaluation/whatever medicine/therapy is required
So... any advice is appreciated. I first confronted the A on 02/11/2009 so I'm about 2+ months past D-day. The A has been ongoing since at the earliest August 2008 and at the latest October 2008.
"You can't reason someone out of a position they didn't reason themselves into."
