Well.. i ordered the book and asked him if he would read it.. he said he would..
my question is .. what do u do w/ this horribly overwhelming feeling of "I dont know if I have feelings for him anymore"...I think it is so overwhelming for both of us to come out and admit we havent been happy.. and on top of that I feel guilty for the damage i've done.. i cant even begin to muster any feelings other than.. sadness..How do I reach out to him if Im still not sure i want to? I think that is where we are stuck.. we dont know what we want..
I am so glad i have found this site.. i wish he would find somewhere similar..he has reached out to an old friend... rather than his brother (who he normally talks to) as to spare me the humilation of having my mistakes aired in the family.. so hopefully he feels better talking w/ someone..
I dont think we have any real bizarre issues.. we just seem like we have drifted to two different planets.. and now have no idea how we feel about each other.. we have been caught up in our daily living that it has caught up w/ us..and the recent traumatic events in our life has spurred some kind of realization on my part.. and forced him to honestly look if he was happy.. I have never had a time where i didnt know how I felt about something, so this is very hard and scary for me.. i've always known where i was going and what i wanted.. or at least i thought i did...its very difficult to think that you are putting your happiness on a scale next to the well being of the rest of the familiy...i feel very selfish..
BUt when i read the posts on the WAW, i can see that being me if i had not addressed this now..staying till the kids were grown then one day getting in my car and not coming back..and that is not the healthy way to deal w/ it..so i guess its deal w/ it now or deal w/ it later.. Thank you all so much for your suggestions.. HJR
