Acting guilty, and looking away. THIS IS GOOD! It's when you see anger that she is putting a huge wall in front of her conscience.
Keep the polite small talk, focus on D1. You have already told her you were willing to work and help her if she would agree, so she knows. Nope, no need to be cheerful. What is happening is not cheerful. Keep doing what you are doing. Polite, focus on D1. She knows you are willing, you told her. She needs to come to you now.
I guess what I'd be looking for is: 1. Total honesty/transparency/no contact 2. Counseling/etc. 3. Mental evaluation/whatever medicine/therapy is required
All prior to me even agreeing to stop the D.
I think those are perfectly reasonable. Good list.
