There is one other possibility with XXX: The whole thing with the abuse was a big dramafest and when she grew bored with the drama she regained perspective. I can't tell if that is the reason, but it's something to consider. In any case, it's a dirty shame that so much abuse and self-abuse had to occur before she started acting human again. Incidentally, your leadership role and doing things like telling her to dress appropriately around the children is part of what brought her out of it. Keep it up.
No, you did not fail by filing. You acknowledged reality by filing. There's a difference. You found out that you are tied to a woman unworthy of your attention by virtue of her utter lack of character, lack of self-respect and self-love and subsequent self-destructive behavior patterns. You can lead a woman to the place where she might be able to find some of those things, but not all of them, and apparently once you led her there she didn't have the strength of character to see her mistakes and "drink". As unpleasant as it was, she left you no choice. There is a small chance that she might grow up and find a love for life and herself that allows her to love and be loved, but all that she is expressing and demonstrating right now is need, and she is nothing more than a parasitic dependent. It is OK to watch for signs of change, as women sometimes do straighten up after going through the trauma and such of a family break up, but do NOT wait or hope for change.
It is one of those things that is possible, rarely seen, and therefore unlikely. The way you describe her going immediately to school with help from her mom also betrays a serious lack of commitment and character, by the way. So you're more perceptive than you think
I know this response may not sit well with most, but, I prefer to keep things 'reality-based' for now.
FIB
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
