She is not truly "coming back" if she doesn't put the work in.
When she says, "Can we work on the marriage?", that is the time to tell her what 'hard work' will need to be done. If she is only doing this because she is avoiding the legal beat down, you MAY be able to help her move to true realization with some time and effort. But, remember your list of requirements. If she asks, you take them out. If she can meet those requirements, she will start to see things and you will see the remorse then. Until she has had "no contact" you will not get anything that you need from her.
