Well, I can say from what you are describing that many MANY other people have the same types of issues. Men think one way, women think another, they both communicate differently, different people show love in different ways, it is very common for a man not to "get it" that he needs to man up, and it is very common for a woman not to "get it" that she needs to soften up and be more supportive of her man....you two really do not have issues (that you have shared so far) that are that far from common.
I know you are already trying to find some books to help you both out, but I just want to re-iterate that there are many books which could really, truly help you both understand each other, and to realize that neither of you are that far off base from each other or from most other couples....
Personally I would suggest that you both start with reading the Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus original book by John Gray.
