Hi everyone. Been awhile since I've started a post. I guess the "magic month" is here, bomb dropped 19 months ago after 19 years of M. The usual stuff, "ILYNOIWY", "we never did click", he wanted a D, "the kids will be ok with it", "been unhappy for a long time".

He wanted us to D and continue living together for the sake of the kids. Talk about having your head up your A$$. I told him "no way, if you don't want to be M to me anymore you need to leave". He said "where will I go?" I said "that's not my problem". he never left.

To make a very long story full of ups and downs short, we are still together, he is very loving and affectionate to me now. M almost 20 1/2 years now. He tells me he misses when we don't get to be together much.

I knew he wasn't as done as he thought he was at time of bomb. I knew he still loved me, but boy did he ever want to be done with me and the M. Had himself convinced. And for those of you wondering, yes there was EA going on. He swears that they were only friends but I know better than that!!! It's how he got the courage to drop the bomb.

I credit the DR book, (that I found at the library the day after bomb, it was waiting for me) and also God through the book "The Power Of A Praying Wife" by Stormie Omartian.

In no way do I "ass"ume I have it made. We are still recovering. 19 years of damage is a long time. I owned up to my part in the demise of the M from the start. I did not blame him. He didn't blame me. He still doesn't wear his ring. He still doesn't tell me ILY. But he is here, he's happier and he "acts" like he's in love.

There are success stories and DB'ing techniques do work. I always knew that my H and I were meant to be together. I just "ass"umed I had it made and took him for granted. I thought, if I loved him then he loved me. Very naive and dangerous thinking. I'll never do that again. I sometimes wonder if I'll ever feel secure again. Maybe it's good that I don't. Take care, Lisa

tielbeagle