The adventure continues--part 3

[mindfull]

AFWAW - I feel ya!

My D17's Dad and I divorced when she was three. My H and I have been married 13 years, and, ironically, my H is her FAVE. I'm probably who she's closest to, but he is definitely her FAVE, mostly because he is just plain more fun (to her). She hasn't seen her Dad (except for 10 minutes) for almost three years, after being with him every other weekend, and Wednesday nights, growing up. Now, they were NEVER close, and she ALWAYS just wanted to be HOME, during his visitation, however, there was a relationship. Funny, once she got in high school, and had more of a mind of her own, and was nearing an age where she could make a decision regarding where she wanted to be when, he did nothing but push her away. Nice one minute, supportive, etc... NASTY, hurling insults, and barraging her the next. I forced her to see him a few times (so he would stop calling the police, trying to force her to see him - didn't work btw... police said they couldn't force her to do anything), and she drove there a week after she turned 16, in her new wheels (pale yellow convertible bug!), and she was calling me within 10 minutes in tears, and gone. I told her I'd never force her to see him again, and I haven't. She's almost 18 now.

These kids DO get incredibly hurt by parents who are not emotionally centered, strong, and thinking in their best interest. She is NOT a happy teen. She lives on the edge (as far as I'll let her get to the edge!), seems happy and carefree to all. However, she's quick to become Super Brat to me, as I'm sure she blames me for her pain from her Dad (to some degree), AND I'm the main disciplinarian. And, has real issues with being productive and responsible (somewhat typical teen though). Onward and upward! She's off to college in the Fall... I'm hoping the time away will heal, and help her grow.

Keep centered on D13. Really. Girls are hard enough (!), without rejection from a parent!