Thanks for the input LFW. I agree with the impulse but the specifics of my sitch make it difficult. My wife has no income and we are both still residing in our house (although we sleep over with family on alternate nights). So she has neither income nor any real expesnes besides pocket money and what she spends on the kids. I have no idea how to break that up right now. I can't pay her the alimony and cs until we sell the house. So I am at a loss for how to break up our finances.
As far as leaving the house, and giving up time with the children, I just don't see how else to do it. She doesn't work. I do. And I don't want to make the kids pawns. The best thing for them is to be with their Mom during the day. She has been fine about letting me have as much time with them as I want, and I beleive that she continues to be a really good Mom.
As far as the alimony, I spoke with two attorneys and they both agreed she is getting alimony. I make a fair amount and she has been out of the workforce for 5+ years.
I think I made a mistake at one point when i told her no matter what I would take care of her and the kids financially. Of course I always would, but there was no need for me to say it to her.
I really don't want to be a doormat here. But I don't see a clear path to putting more of this on her. At this point she is not working, I have the kids half the time. When she has the kids a bunch of the time she is with her family. For her I get the feeling this divorce has been much easier than it has for me. I don't know. But I am also thinking of the quote someone posted from a counselor here "Life will give the WAS consequences. You don't need to." I don't think that has ever been more true than in my case. My WAS is walking away from a lot of good things and I really believe she has idealized the world. I think she is going to skip right into the brick wall of reality in the coming years. I really wish that she wouldn't.
Anyway I am very open to suggestions on how to avoice doormatitis. And again thanks for reading.
