WAW - Very confused and devastated - pt 7

[confusedinpa]

As long as you feel annoyed that she was hurt by your behavior, rather than caring about how hurt she was, there probably is no hope. As long as you are annoyed that she isn't over it yet, you are pouring salt in her wounds.

If you can get to a place where you no longer are impatient for her to heal so you can feel better, and can accept that you hurt her deeply and that it will take a long, long time for that hurt to heal, . . . then, you might have a chance.

I don't think that helps your case. You were happy, so even though your wife wanted to go to marriage counseling you still didn't get that she was not happy and that there was a problem until she filed for divorce.

In a marriage, it's not all about you. If you want your wife back, it needs to be all about her for a while.

I must really be bad at communication. That was my wife's exact read on the original conversation as well. I had tried to explain what I meant to her yesterday so hopefully I got my point accross there. Seems like I didn't get it accross in my post either.

What I was trying to say was that I was annoyed about the overall situation. I wasn't annoyed at her being hurt but the entire circumstance where she got hurt and the fact that she was hurt (not because she's feeling hurt). I told her that I always loved her and was trying to do everything to make her happy, but didn't know that she was being hurt. I was also annoyed how now I understand the problem and its severity where before I didn't know what the problem was and its severity so I didn't even know what we were working on. Now that I know and understanding it better everyday, I am able to work on it and because she is still hurting, she isn't ready to do the same. I told her that until she is, I will just continue to work on me.

Does that make sense then?

Do you think I should make sure my wife understands what I was trying to say?