Thank you for your response. You're right, I did everything you did and I am still trying to find something, in fact I went around to the house yesterday which my wife knew about and she immediately accused me of snooping. We had a big row about money which was resolved, and I am trying to go dim which was a positive step (until yesterday) enabling my wife and I to have conversations without arguing. My strategies via DR have not worked so far because my wife is so distant from me and is working to the divorce as quickly as possible.
She wants to offload the children during the times when she officially has them, its clear to me why - to spend more time with OP. I am in a moral dilemma here because I feel I am fueling her affair by taking my children, though I want to see my children as often as possible. As soon as I have my children my mind goes into overdrive wondering what my wife is doing. I must STOP thinking about her as we all know there is nothing we can do or say to a WAW, but concentrate on the children and me. This is so hard, I have problems focusing on things other than the situation, I know if I am being honest with myself we are divorcing, my wife confirms it and says this will be better for both of us as I do not make her happy. The decree absolute comes in 8 to 10 weeks so things are going to get worse before it gets any better.
I do hope you are right about WAW's realising they were wrong, but I believe even if she did realise I don't think she would come back to me because of the issues we had, grown apart, no love, respect or trust. I think she will quite happily move on with her life withh the children until she finds somebody else who will make her happy. I have made changes which I think have been noticed but in her current state means nothing to her, so I will just keep upbeat, which was confirmed to her by a close friend of hers who saw me yesterday. My wife said to me "Sarah said you seemed very happy", I said yes I am even though inside I'm not, but at least it was noticed so to me this is a baby step positive I will continue to do as per DR.
Thank you for your prayers also Art.
Best wishes,
Mark
Bomb dropped: 19/12/08 Me:48 WAW:41 D:10 S:6 Married: 15 years
