I've reached a point in my sitch, and even more importantly my life, that I'm considering ALL view points of myself and my behavior over the past 3+ years. I'd like to think that my version of reality is 100% correct, but that's most likely not the case. I'd like to believe that XW's version of reality is 100% incorrect and that also is most likely not the case. The truism is that TRUTH lies somewhere in between. I am really praying to Jesus to assist me in seeing my part in all that went wrong. I know that nothing can be undone, but everything can be healed, and I desire that no matter the outcome.
I'm arriving at a decision (again) about my living situation and I'm leaning towards NOT moving out of the area just yet. As my confusion and stubbornness is lifted, I recognize that I haven't utilized my abilities to their fullest potential. I haven't exhausted all of my resources not my resourcefulness. I haven't prayed long enough, hard enough, and specifically enough yet. I am not ready to throw in the towel and run away like a quitter or a wimp. I have fight left in me and I darn near decided that my fight for myself, my children, my life, my stability, my work, my self-esteem, my sense of manhood is right where I am now and running away is surrendering and THAT option is no longer on the table. There, I made a decision with all you supporting me to do what is right in the long run, not only what feels more comfortable in the short run.
'Til next time.
Letting Go Tom; JUST DO IT! previously hopeful_husband
my A: Fall 05 W found out: Feb 06; separated immediately W pursued D, final 7/11/07
