Hey Dl, nice name change! The obsessing about the OP is definitely the worst part for me too. To the fogged-out mind it just doesn't matter if they are living with the OP or if they are on opposite sides of the world. They have this grand delusion that life with the OP is going to be so much better, so much sweeter, etc. etc. etc.
Phooey. It won't be until they wake up from their haze and realize what they were leaving behind to live their perfect fantasy life that the LBS really has any chance.
Don't be too quick to want to feel anger toward your H, either. Having been down that road I can tell you that anger doesn't make the hurt go away. In fact, anger just makes you feel resentment for all the pain that you are feeling. It is far better to keep yourself distracted and away from things that make you feel down. That is the super hard part though because there are so many triggers that make us think of our Sps. I used to break down in the middle of the aisle at the grocery store because in my previous life my W and I would always go shopping together, and shopping alone was a stark reminder of how alone I was. My solution was to always bring my kids with me shopping!
If solitude is painful for you, then try to be somewhere where you aren't alone. That can be hard when you have the day off and the kids are at school. I used to surprise my S16 by showing up at his school and taking him to lunch as something to do during the day.
You will get through this. When it hurts, let it all out. Cry until your eyes are puffy so that when you do talk to him or your kids that you will have your emotional balance back and keep up the good work that you have blogged here about.
So how are your GAL activities coming? What are you doing to make disneylove97 happy today?
Me40 WAW37 M18 T20 S18,14 D13 EA Bomb 6/08 Sep 11/20/08 Ret 08/09 Sep/Filed 11/09
