I told her told her that I was annoyed that she was hurt by what happened in the past. I was also annoyed that since she's still hurt now, . . . that I felt that we weren't really giving us a chance since we both see that there is a problem to work on.
As long as you feel annoyed that she was hurt by your behavior, rather than caring about how hurt she was, there probably is no hope. As long as you are annoyed that she isn't over it yet, you are pouring salt in her wounds.
If you can get to a place where you no longer are impatient for her to heal so you can feel better, and can accept that you hurt her deeply and that it will take a long, long time for that hurt to heal, . . . then, you might have a chance.
Originally Posted By: confusedinpa
She then challenged whatI thought all the counseling last year was about. I reminded her that the majority of the sessions I always said I didn't know why we were here as I loved her and was happy so I don't know what the problem is. . .
I don't think that helps your case. You were happy, so even though your wife wanted to go to marriage counseling you still didn't get that she was not happy and that there was a problem until she filed for divorce.
In a marriage, it's not all about you. If you want your wife back, it needs to be all about her for a while.
