You need a good dose of Puppy. I don't want to sound overly critical, but you need to set up some boundaries and protect yourself.
1-Find out if there is another person! Sounds like it too me (my wife did the same thing as yours...how awesome a husband I was and then a month later the shoe dropped)
2-Definitely breakup the finances! If she wants out, she needs to learn about the real world of money. I know I will get clobbered by saying this, but after 5 years of being a stay at home mom....I am sure she forgot how much fun it is having to go to work 40 hours a week.
3-Stop leaving your house! You are paying all the bills....why the heck not live there? She wants out...then let her go live some place else...she is the one making the choice. Also...why give up time with your children?
4-Don't stop trying to save the marriage, but get some boundaries up protecting yourself! Don't be walked upon.
5-Alimony! She is the one leaving...I hope your lawyer has a good defense for that one.
I apologize to all...but there is no need to be a doormat. She has made the decision to end the marriage and seems to be pushing ahead at full steam. I see a woman who thinks you are going to continue to take care of her financial as she disappears with your kids to lala land. Don't let yourself get punished for her decisions.
Look around your life and see if there is a cause for this sudden reversal of attitude towards you. Don't over focus on it (since you need to be mainly concerned about yourself and the children), but see if there is that recently divorced friend or OM that is affecting your relationship. Some times the cure comes in first understanding the cause.
