Saadly, people in general probably don't stop and think how their actions are going to effect someone else. I know we are super sensitive to it right now but I think it is a good if not difficult lesson to learn.
I am sorry that your H hasn't been able to maintain his NC beyond the baby. I think it would be difficult especially when they are still talking. No excuses hon, just an observation. It is like letting a junkie have just a pinch of a drug and then expect him to not try to get more.
Perhaps a 3rd party should have been brought in to deal with the passing off of the baby etc, because with both of them being addicts it is just to huge a temptation.
I don't know if you want to pass this last option by him as your last line of defense or simply say you are done, finito. Either way, dear Corey I am in your corner. Let me know if I need to cut your eye so you can see!
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
I have made no decision yet, but I need to give it some serious thought right now, but that is a very good suggestion.
BTW...I haven't sent the email yet, shes not here today.
Last edited by Sugar and Spice; 04/20/0911:05 PM.
M:39 H:39 K:S14;D8 T:22yr M:15yrs S:12/28/07 EA/PA 3/14/08 OW preg 11/17/08 born 12/12/08 his ~~~~~~~ Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option
That's a good idea. Also, I think the email's ok (I'm mad at your MIL too!), but maybe you should follow the 48 hour rule and see if you want to send it then? I'm going to add you to my prayers tonight. What does your IC think/say about what's going on? I'm sorry, Corey! Maybe 48 hour rule for you to make any decisions at this point? How is your H acting with you? Does he realize he screwed (you know what word I'm really thinking) up? Karen
That's a good idea. Also, I think the email's ok (I'm mad at your MIL too!), but maybe you should follow the 48 hour rule and see if you want to send it then? I'm going to add you to my prayers tonight. What does your IC think/say about what's going on? I'm sorry, Corey! Maybe 48 hour rule for you to make any decisions at this point? How is your H acting with you? Does he realize he screwed (you know what word I'm really thinking) up? Karen
I have waited WAY beyond the 48 Hr. rule. I have known about this for a couple of weeks and have just started calming down enough to even BEGIN to think about how to handle it. My IC says "SEND IT!!!" and not because I want a response from her, but for me. To get these feelings off of my chest and stop stuffing everything down inside. He realizes it, but its like closing the barn door when the horse has already escaped...too late. I appreciate the prayers.
M:39 H:39 K:S14;D8 T:22yr M:15yrs S:12/28/07 EA/PA 3/14/08 OW preg 11/17/08 born 12/12/08 his ~~~~~~~ Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option
Hey SIL. so sorry about all thats going on. I agree with the 3rd party idea, esp with my sitch. letting them alone for any amount of time, well, you could end up here where I am. I agree with the others, send the email. I have missed you!! lots of love
M 36 XH 34 3 children If a house is divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand. Mark 3:25 "your mood swings are giving me whiplash" twilight ALIVE FREE AND HAPPY 2010
I sent the email and I know she opened it. I don't need a response, I just needed to put it out there. Here is what I actually sent.
I have waited to do this until my feelings were a little clearer to me, but that hasn't happened yet and I fear if I wait too long I just won't send this. I'm not sure what to say or even how to say this, but I need you to know how this makes me feel.
I am incredibly hurt and saddened by your offer to let H and The Troll rent your house. I wish I could put into words how this whole thing has made me feel, but I don't even understand. Considering how close we are or were and what I considered to be out "mother/daugher" relationship, this feels like a complete betrayal.
I just wanted to be honest because I don't really know what else to say. Maybe you can help me "get it" or I'll come to grips with it whenever I come to grips with it.
In the end, you need to do whatever you think is right for your son and yourself and what I think or how I feel doesn't factor into it. I just needed you to know how I feel.
So we shall see...
Last edited by Sugar and Spice; 04/21/0907:18 PM.
M:39 H:39 K:S14;D8 T:22yr M:15yrs S:12/28/07 EA/PA 3/14/08 OW preg 11/17/08 born 12/12/08 his ~~~~~~~ Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option
that is perfect sis!! I am so proud of you!! yee haw for us sil's!! I will share my mil with you, she is awesome!
M 36 XH 34 3 children If a house is divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand. Mark 3:25 "your mood swings are giving me whiplash" twilight ALIVE FREE AND HAPPY 2010
Thanks Kat, I needed a laugh.