Tomorrow is my day off and I want to call him so badly to see if he wants to do something. It's totally against everything I've been doing, I know. I just miss him so stinking much. I miss spending time with him and just hanging out. I hate not talking to him and only discussing kid related things. I am so scared that giving him all of this space will make him forget me completely.
I can't stop from thinking about his EA. She's in another country for crying out loud! What can happen with this? I don't want to obsess about the what ifs, but I would really like to know what can happen so I can prepare myself. Yeah, that's not going to happen. I'm so ripped apart by all of this. I want to stop crying all of the time and missing him and thinking about him. It hurts so damn much. I wish I could be angry so I wasn't always in so much pain, but that's not the way I am. I'm sure there are things I should be angry about but the most I get is irritated. Is that even normal?
I know there is no magic cure for this. Nothing is going to make this go any faster other than a serious miracle. Days like today make me feel like I can't bear this one more minute. It hurts so damn much.
