WAW - Very confused and devastated - pt 7

[confusedinpa]

It's still very confusing - curious what people's thoughts are on the latest.

She picked me up a little after 8 for us to go down to the Children of Divorce Seminar. We stopped at a drive through to pick up breakfast. She unwrapped my sandwich for me as I was driving and handed it to me, just like she always did.

We drove down and chatted about the kids and other light topics. We got there and I sat down first. She sat next to me. We were the only ones who came together. All the other spouses were going seperated as one was attending the morning session and the other was attending the afternoon session.

She started to cry and the seminar started about the impact to the emotional, educational and overall development of the kids. I gave her a tissue.

After the seminar, we went out to lunch together. We chatted lightly and she asked me a question about a conversation we had Sat morning. She was concerned as she thought she heard me say "I was annoyed that she was still feeling hurt". I told her told her that I was annoyed that she was hurt by what happened in the past. I was also annoyed that since she's still hurt now, that I felt that we weren't really giving us a chance since we both see that there is a problem to work on.

She then challenged whatI thought all the counseling last year was about. I reminded her that the majority of the sessions I always said I didn't know why we were here as I loved her and was happy so I don't know what the problem is. Now I understand what the issue is and am working on me so that we can work on it. She said that she felt that I was not as developed as her emotionally. She said I was like a 12 year old emotionally. I was a little urked about that but kept my composure and just said that I'm working on me to learn and develop that and will continue to do so for me. Not for her, nor to save the marriage, but for me as I know that will make me a better person and father.

She said that she still wasn't sure about going to counseling. I told her that I am going to leave it up to her as I want her to go for her, not because of me. She said that she didn't want to go on her day with the kids but was going to see what she could work out with her mom to watch the kids. I told her just let me know as I would be going with or without her.

We talked about various light topics after that and she dropped me back off at home.

Hard to tell, I know it's only day 2 of the separation, but can't tell if there is still any hope left to hold on to....