BND,

Good points there. You are absolutely right...this needs to be a new relationship. I know that I am the one who keeps one foot stuck in the old one. I need to think on that.

Jack,
Thank you for describing what I am going thru so well! I do not want to start spinning again with all of this conflicting advice. But, I am trying to be really careful to not pick out the things that I want to hear and to discard the ones that strike a nerve.


Ha ha... I am quite sure you are this much of a D in real life. ;\) Actually, I have never thought of you in that way. You are concise and witty. You say it like you see it. And, you do things that make me laugh, like calling SL "Lewis." I laugh everytime I see that for some silly reason. BTW, thanks for adding "no, not you C" in reference to people complaining about the same thing day in and day out. \:\)

Yeah, I know that you guys only see the neurotic me. So, I should expect what I get at times. And, though it stings at times, I really do need to hear these things.

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I realize I need to get past this "the whole thing is my fault" issue that I have.



That'd be cool. : )


See? concise. Acknowledged and appreciated.


I still will disagree on the dating thing. Yeah, I took the time for the disclaimer--- only cuz I know how people think around here. I am curious about dating--- kind of. If I am honest, when XH talked about dating exclusively in the fall I was kind of mad at myself for not exploring that option when I had the chance. It is not out of the question. I just really haven't had many offers. People say it is because I am not open to it--- that if I opened myself up people would come. I don't know about that. I just know that I am not the online dating type and my profession is one that I don't see many men in a given day.


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By my book, you REALLY are doing better.

Thanks for that. I really do appreciate it.

TP, if you are reading this please don't think you upset me. I know you will! It is just a frustrating place to be. I want to learn to trust, yet I don't want to blindly do so. I try to put things in the past, but every once in a while something pops into my head and I don't know if I should allow it the headspace or let it go. Learn from the past/ forget the past and move on.... yikes! What's a girl to do?

I am going to lay low. Which is pretty much where I have been for awhile now. BARRING SOME MISTAKES, of course. He is to the point of calling, coming by, or texting each day. I try my best to keep these as short and positive interactions. I will drive myself crazy if I analyze why he takes the time to do this, or worse yet, remind myself that we have been here before only to find out that there was lots going on behind the scenes of which I was completely ignorant.

I know that I have to get boundaries back in place, and I will do that despite my fear of jeopardizing the postive steps that have been taken. Hopefully I will do it with love and tact.

Sheesh. Why does this have to be so complicated????