Talked to her today. Both when she came to pick the kids up and then she called later to go over administrative stuff. I mentioned that I had lost a lot of weight which I found out at the doctors (not really a big deal one way or another, just sort of chit-chat). She said I needed to make sure I hit the gym hard for when I am on the market as "chicks dig the muscles." She's just absolutely not faking it. And I am beginning to believe that she is not deluding herself. She really wants to be friends. She's ready for us to be friends. She just knows absolutely that we are not meant to be together. It hasn't even been two months since she dropped the bomb. I know I need to buck up and get to work (and I think I followed decent db principals on the call). But I just feel shot. I need to start sleeping over families house again this week (4 out of 7). I love my wife. I miss her so much. I can't imagine this happening to my family. But there is some part of me that just wants to give up and let everyone heal. I feel like I'm trapped on an icy mountain. And it's cold. And I know that I should fight. But there is some part of me that just wants to drift off. You guys are all marathoners. You are my damn heroes.
