Holding onto Hope

[In Limbo]

I need some experienced DB help. I really, completely blew it today. I discovered that H sent e-card to OW and lost it because I felt signs this weekend that he was withdrawing and I also know OW will be with the group he's going to a concert with Thursday night just sent me over the edge. I did all the wrong DB things. I called him when I was hysterical, told him I didn't want this, wanted him back, the whole nine yards. When he asked what brought this on, I did not admit that I saw history showing his contact with her, but told him that I was upset because of the lack of discussion between us, his distance this weekend and the credit card charges I'm seeing. When I asked him about contact with OW, he said she called him Friday but he didn't answer - no other contact. He was at work (bad) and showed no emotion other than being upset over my invasion of his privacy. Now he says he needs to move out completely, get separate everything. I feel like any shot I ever had is now gone and I'm so tired of feeling defeated. How do you ever receover from just totally freaking out like this? What do I say now to try to get back on track? I know I've got to let go, pull back like Sandi says, but what do I do to address this encounter that I screwed up so badly?!?! I would really appreciate hearing from someone....