Hi Rob, That is interesting...it may be a small sign that she's looking inward - or it may be a small sign that of something that's she's known all along...but was unwilling to say aloud.
I understand the frustration that you're describing, though - if she is starting to be honest with herself, why now, why when she's already done the damage to your family? And I guess the sad fact of it is that she might be ready now, and she was not before...and there was nothing you or anyone could have done to help her be ready sooner...provided that she is partially open to looking at herself now.
My STBX did some of that too - she would even get on the phone with her sister and explicitly describe the negative traits of her father (the same exact stuff she would then project on to me) - but it didn't seem to mean that she was genuinely ready to look into herself enough to accept responsibility for what she was doing/had done.
I know your X, like my STBX are difficult people - but they are also in a tremendous amount of pain - the challenge for me was allowing myself to let go of her, and not try to heal her, fix her, rescue her in any way - since it was that very impulse that contributed to where we ended up in the first place...It was a very hard lesson for me to learn - that I could love someone that was harmful toward me - and that she could continue to be harmful so long as she would not look into herself...that said, her crisis, her pain, did lead to a lot of growth for me - as I think your situation did for you. Despite all the pain and sorrow - we've been given the rarest of opportunities to examen our lives - and to find ways to improve ourselves as men and, perhaps most importantly, as fathers.
It would be very disappointing...but it's the only way it could have been/be for her...
