fb2, I was assertive when he asked back. I asked if he really wanted/was prepared to work with me to "fix" things and he said yes. Does he sound like is? I dont want him back in the house. I still feel him as a stranger. I would need some kind of small progress before we would do such a move. Right now I am thinking I will move the OTHER way, away from him... I think the time we will spend together these next days will show me how to proceed. K
K, I've been reading very carefully. You are putting up a fight! It appears to me that he too has been "working' and that there has indeed been some 'small progress'. It also appears to me that you want to stay married and you love him. What seems to be coming in the way? What's slowing things down? Perhaps its your 'expectations' and your 'hurt'? You seem to be trying to push him away? It seems clear that he does not 'get it', he moved out, is addicted to work, had an OW, etc. Why not instead accept where things are, accept him for what he is NOW, forgive the past and work from here? That way he's much more likely to be intimate with you again, right now he simply does not know where he stands with you, her perhaps feels like your holding a gun to his head and he's the type who does not yet have the skills to break that barrier between you. He's not comfortable giving you a hug unless you ask for it, or staying over night because he can sense the barrier. If you wait for the sun and the moon to line up, other events may happen in between to ruin the 'timing' further and put up a bigger wall. Yes, life is short and yes it is also very long! Can you forever set aside the fantasies of H1 and Idaho and D? How could you use your religious faith and culture to work for both of you? Where is the common ground? How can you tear down that wall? Glad you dismissed the idea of 'white-marriage'. Did you read 'Imperfect Harmony'? What do you clearly want to do give the reality?
