I've read through all of your posts. Though I don't think that I have enough relevant experience to really help you, I just wanted to welcome you to our forum.
I hope that all of the "others" are absolutely and completely out of the picture for you and your H. It is tough to work on a marriage when there are more than a husband and wife in bed, KWIM? With infidelity, there are simply too many covert dynamics at play to have an honest chance at making progress. That said, have you both committed to each other that your intention is a monogomous, faithful, supportive, and trusting marriage?
I know that you mentioned that your H refuses marriage counseling. Is that still true? What are his reasons for resisting professional help?
