Your W is navigating her thoughts and emotions and behaviors without any knowledge or support that we all have gained from collaborating on this board. When/If she does learn what she needs to learn, she is going to realize that all of this was so unnecessary. She will have wished that she communicated with you about what she was feeling long before any of her A's. I am wishing that your W finds someone wise to talk to. It is too bad that she didn't find this board long ago, so that she would have the loving support and guidance that she needed to face you with her grievances and ask for change.
It seems that your W is carrying a ton of shame from her actions, not surprisingly. She needs professional help to work through those feelings so that she can feel worthy of being your W and your daughter's mother again. It appears that she *wants to* fill that role, but she thinks that she has destroyed her chances of doing so beyond repair. (Also, I would bet that OM is still poking at her and trying to keep her in his court. This has got to be confusing, as she is just starting to rise from her fog.)
I'm so terribly sorry for the torment you are suffering.
She is so lucky that you're still willing to work to keep her as your W, especially after watching the pain that your daughter has suffered. Your deep love for your W has always oozed through your posts. She is luckier than she knows or recognizes.
