Thank you SLH...I need to remind myself that I come first now. It's really harder than you think it would be. He went out yesterday looking for a part time job to supplement his income. Even though we decided he would move out when he got another job and was financially able to do so, he made the comment yesterday that he needed to go look for a job regardless of what happens. He said he would either have money for a place to stay or money to pay down bills. I am scared to separate but feel its the only way for him to realize what he is going to lose. His MLC is driving me crazy! I didn't even respond to him. Maybe that's what he needs.
I think something funny though is that ever since we decided to "take a break" he has been calling every day when he leaves work and we went over to a friend's house, the one who actually introduced us 13 years ago, who just came back from a 7 month deployment and then went out with all of our friends for my b-day. He did this even though he said he felt kinda nervous being around everyone. He wants a break but he's doing more now than he did before. WEIRD...and I am just tired of trying to figure out what it all means.
Time to work on me...time to smile again and enjoy life! It takes too much energy being sad and angry.
