Yeah, I hear ya. And I did know better. At that moment, part of me just wanted a little bit of truth. Something, anything. I spend a lot of time avoiding the truth when it comes to him, so I took a deep breath and decided that in that moment I could take it. Not saying it was the right choice....just my reasoning.
I do have to stick up for myself on the "quit pursuing him so heavily" thing. 90% of the time he calls or texts me. He comes HERE. When he is here I do my own thing, unless he has come specifically to see me. We started to slip back into our old patterns, with him hanging out here, and last night I told him that son can take my car to drive over there for their Monday night together. I don't think it is good for me for him to come hang out here so much when things are so up in the air. I didn't explain why (a positive for me)- I just let him know that's how we would do it.
Your last line--- believe me, I think a lot about that. It is not as if I get nothing from his companionship, however, I do give a lot more than I get. I would entertain the thought of a date with someone else if the right person asked. I think this would be a good thing. I do believe he needs to see that I am not going to hang out here forever. It is not a ploy, either. I have a lot to give and I am sure there is someone out there who may appreciate this a little more.
You sure don't sound as if this has much hope. It plays on the part of me that entertains that thought, too. I guess all I can say is that I am not as dumb as the person who you are seeing/reading. I am not naive and I am not living in some fantasy world. I guess all I can say is that I have made so many mistakes that I want to know that I cleared those up, and THEN if it still doesn't work I can walk away knowing I did all that I could.
