No, Hope. You are NOT platonic friends! She is with you, she loves you, she is working through things, and what she is going through you don't just do for a "friend".
Gosh, I know how it feels to see those shows now. The guilt and realization is pretty hard to deal with. Does she deserve it, should she play victim and "boo hoo poor me"? No, but getting through infidelity in a marriage is not easy. It is soo worth it, though. Every day my husband stands by me, I love him more and more. I feel closer and closer to him. I ruined our love, and have caused us to step a million steps back, and caused us to have to spend a LOT of time working back toward each other because of the affairs. I think it is worth it. The love has changed most definitely. I ruined the innocence of it, it is no longer unblemished. I ruined it. BUT...I truly believe we are moving toward a love that most people never get to. I already see him so differently, and love him more than I think I ever did before if that is possible.
The intimate part of our relationship is still a work in progress. I love him, I know this. Because of what I did it is going to take some time to work on the intimacy of our relationship, especially since it was an issue previous to the affairs. It is only because I KNOW he will not give up on me that I can move toward him slowly and vice versa. It was a year ago that I felt "disgust" with him being NEAR me! Psychological. The mind. It's an amazing thing.
