Oh Glam you're right it is a mess, you would think after all this time a blind man could see your changes but not the person who is supposed to love and know you best-he is certainly a champian grudge bearer! Just keep on making the changes for you and your family. Please God one day he will see that life is too short to spend it brooding and dark thoughts. How would he like it if you moved and forgot to tell him where you live? just in case he called by and wanted you to fix him a quick snack when your detoxing! I know silly but it does make your mind think these things when you are the only person working your socks off to save your m and alot of it for his benefit. So raw or cooked veggies?
H called when he was on his way over yesterday. He says Glam I can't sleep. I have been up all night. He says Glam I don't know what to do. He said does depression keep you awake? He said am I depressed? He said I don't know anymore.
H also talked about moving to another state. He wanted to know what I thought and what state I would be interested in moving. It's hard because, if that is what would put our family back together I would move in a heart beat and start over. Not sure if h truly wants to do that or is this just convo.
H arrived and looked terrible. Looked like h hadn't shaved in a week. He looked exhausted. He plopped on the couch and asked if I could make him some lunch. I did, and then he was too exhausted to eat it.
He said Glam I want to ML to you, but I am so exhausted. I said h don't worry about it. Just rest. He looked like he was going to start crying. I know he doesn't want to feel this way and must feel so bad inside.
I was leaving for work and he said he didn't have any energy to walk me out. I said h it's ok, call me if you need anything. He called later and said he had rested and felt better. He asked me to join him and the kids for a quick dinner. I did. We had a nice time. H asked if I wanted to hang out with him. Not sure what that meant. Then he said could you start walking me to the door when I leave?
I am at a loss as to what to do with h's depression. Now he is off the meds, so not sure what to expect here. I mentioned we have C this week and if he was going. He gave me a blank stare and didn't answer. I will find out later and cancel in advance as to not pay this time around.
Life is a puzzle of sorts........
Me 50 H 42 S 22 S 9 D 7 M 12 T 17 H moved out 8/2006 H moved home 1/2007 for 3 weeks H moved home 5/2011 for good
"Learn from yesterday ~ Live for today ~ And hope for tomorrow"
What is to be done with him? he really is his own worst enemy. Messing about with his meds and dosage is NOT helping, but you cannot make him see that. I wouldn't mention the move sounds like all talk, still searching for the greener grass. Your support system is presumeably where you live now, take care Glam.
