So, what is your strategy for the moment? List it and then look at if what you are doing is making the situation worse, keeping the status quo or if you are seeing signs of improvement.
You are torturing yourself at the moment and it isn't good for you. As One Day said the only person that you are affecting is yourself. I do know that feeling of waking up with dread in the mornings. I used to, and sometimes still do, experience that myself. It will pass I promise.
List what you are doing to make yourself the greener grass in terms of being the best father you can be and some ideas to make yourself the best husband you can be?
It will help you to be more proactive in this way and to formulate your 'strategy'.
edit - Just seen your last post. Leave it for now. Do not do anything rash. Have a proper think on it. I'll respond a bit later. In the meantime think on my questions. You need to focus.
