WAW1

[markhaving probs]

I have just had a face to face row with my wife over money again. She re-iterated she could not give me any more money from the property, which after discussion makes financial sense. I should have worked it out better instead of going in like a like a bull in a china shop. She was very angry and then she moved on to the fact that if it wasn't for me we would not be in this position. She said I never loved her, helped her financially or emotionally, the same old stuff really, and now I wish I had not have said anything. I have backslid badly here, especially after being told by my wife her friend saw me yesterday to talk to, and I seemed really happy. My wife again said she cannot trust me, I assume it is because I keep changing my mind about money, which makes me look indesisive and weak as well. I validated her reasons for the money split and looked her in the eyes when I said it. She also said I have now neglected the house when it is still my responsibility, which is true, but should I, and if I did I should do it for me, but I want to please her as well. The right thing to do I have read is treat your spouse like your best friend - If my best friend asked me to help with the garden I would. Trouble is I do not want to look like a doormat.

I told her I was cancelling my golf trip in the summer which was a reason she cited me for divorce would you believe. I told her it was so I could take the children skiing in the winter, now this is a big 180 for me as I never missed my golf trip in 13 years so I hope she can see my priorities have changed. She said my FIL would probably like to come as he always has as a family, my wife said he will come as long as I do not keep giving her problems. I then said I might take somebody else, she said "what friend would want to go on a skiing holiday with two children"? I then said I might take somebody else, she then said "if you have a girlfriend by then, I don't think it would be very appropriate". I did not respond to this comment.

What should I do to repair the damage I have done here, I was condemplating sending her a text stating my love for her, because she sounded so sure I don't because of the way I have treated her? Should I contact her at all?