I have read a lot of threads where this is the case indeed. To be honest, I was planning to take a step back myself after the meal last night. I really don't want to make it seem like I'm pursuing. That's why I've decided to go polite but brief with her again for a wee while. My DB Coach told me the theory of the firefly. When a firefly lights up in the dark you're drawn to its light. When there is light all around though, the firefly doesn't really attract much notice. This is why it pays to keep our spouses guessing and not be completely predictable. If I ask my W if she wants to have a meal with me every weekend it will definitely come across as pursuing. If I go a bit dark again now for a while it will make her wonder what the meal was about this one time and get her curious. When I used this method last time for simple things like conversation when I picked up Wee Man, it was no time at all until she was asking me questions about what I was up to and how I was getting on. In that sense it was almost as if she was the pursuer. It may not work the same this time but if it doesn't I'll just go right on and try something else. That's what DBing is all about after all.
Kev
Me: 32, Wife: 22 Son: 2 Married: 2 years Separated: January 5th 2009
Sometimes you have to become lost before you can find yourself.
