HELP! Is ML to try to reconnect a mistake?

[trampledheart]

Hi everyone,

It's been over a week since I last posted... and it's been a strange and busy week. I've had two doctors appointments, a dental appointment, filed my taxes, and had some interactions with H.

BND, thanks for sharing your H's email and your words of advice. I had taken your advice and even used that expression, "I'm sorry you feel this way." I've kept interactions simple as well. In the last few emails we've exchanged, mine were practically just one liners.

Stuck808, I've also taken to heart what you had said that he's afraid to come home because I would latch on to him and not let go. And the stray dog analogy was great... In fact, when he came over on the 15th to sign the tax return, I was cooking dinner and he kept coming over to taste my chicken cacciatore.

He seemed relaxed and sat down to help our daughter who was on the computer doing her taxes and I was so glad to hear laughter coming from the other room! I asked him if he wanted to stay and have dinner with us, but he said he had just come from the endodontist and couldn't yet eat anything. He asked if he could take some home with him, which was a bit of a shock for me, but I said of course! (I wondered what he was going to say to OW about his tupperware of food from home.) We all watched a little TV, and when he was leaving, he gave our daughter a kiss, then came over and kissed the top of my head. But then, as if he thought twice about it, he lifted my chin and kissed me on the lips - short and sweet, then left with his dinner. The time he spent with us was about an hour... Oh! I did make one mistake, as he went out the door, I said, "Love you!" as my goodbye. Oops!

The following day, he emailed me and said he had paid some of the bills. This was a bit surprising to me because in the past several months, I had to argue with him for days just to get him to pay one bill! He always argued that he doesn't have any money to give me. I would like to think it was because of my chicken cacciatore, but I think it was really due to a combination of things... I think it might be because he's feeling guilty for having used our airline frequent flyer miles towards tickets for him and OW to go on a 2-week vacation to Rome (he's leaving this week). He doesn't know that I know about this trip to Rome as he hadn't told me or our daughter about it. But the strange thing is, not only has he paid those bills without my bugging him about it, he's even agreed to give me all of the tax refund. I'm starting to wonder if he's come into some windfall of cash, like maybe he won the lottery or something!

My dilemma is that I still haven't really come up with a game plan. My heart and my mind are split on what to do!

My heart tells me to stall the legal process that I started at the end of February (I petitioned for legal separation with the County but I hadn't served him yet). I only wanted to go forward with it for financial reasons when he had stopped supporting us. But if I go forward and serve him, there's no turning back. And by my pushing it forward, I feel he'd just go along with it since he's already living with OW and has moved on...he said that there is nothing between us anymore...

My mind tells me that I should go forward with the legal process and protect myself - that he probably has ulterior motives in his current niceness... That I shouldn't trust him and I should protect myself, just in case. After all, he's already done things like used our frequent flyer miles for himself and OW...what would stop him from taking more? And who knows, maybe he's already done worse things financially that I don't even know about. A few weeks ago he mentioned something about getting his bank accounts in order - "in order" what way? and for what?

So my heart is perhaps naive and hopeful, and it's winning over my mind at this moment. Any ideas or thoughts? Has anyone had a similar experience?

Trampledheart